Formaldehyde laughter
by C.RoWhite
Summary: This is what happens when Undertaker gets curious and tries to get alittle more indepth with his work. Warning may cause difficulty breathing and possible loose bladders.


_I do not own Kuroshitsuji nor any characters. Do not try anything that is done in this fiction at home or anywhere else for that matter. What Undertaker does in this story is lithal to us as living human beings. Taking any foreign substance in to our body that is not food or beverage can be harmful and or lethal to you so again DO NOT COPY UNDERTAKTER_

1870 London, England, Undertaker's shop front

Undertaker was reading over some mail in his shop relaxing with a passive smile on his face. A few months back a German man found a new way to prepare the body for its final resting place. Out of inspiration he decided to try this new way himself and found it rather delightful. He found it to be a wonderful way to deal with the bodies especially ones that would sit in his work room for longer periods of time.

1875 London, England, Undertaker's back work room.

Undertaker polished a few needle tips and checked all this tubes were clear and clean. He moved over to a hook on the ceiling and smiled placing two large glass bottles on it both with the name Formaldehyde on them. He was preparing for his next job. Once he was set up he removed his coat and rolled up his sleeves putting a set of gloves on then connected his needles to their respected tubes.

One last smirk on his face he moved to the side of the table then turned sliding himself on to the table so he was sitting before swinging his legs up on to the end. He took one needle and grabbed a bandage he pushed one needed in to his left arm by his wrist then tied it down with a hiss. He did the same with his second arm then waited.

He started to feel light headed as he looked to the left arm seeing the blood draining from his body through the needle he put in. He looked up to the Bottles and pulled the clip off that held them and laid back on his table closing his eyes.

Two Days Later

Undertaker sat at his desk staring intently at a large beaker full of tea with a few tea leaves floating in it. He was mesmerized and didn't even look up when William walked through the front door with Grell. William looked around and was very confused as he saw the usually tidy place was slightly messed up with papers everywhere along with many coffins with no organization.

"Undertaker." William spoke with a rather confused tone.

"SSSHHHHH!" Undertaker threw his hand up to silence them as Grell walked over and leaned over looking in to the glass as well.

"What are you watching?" Grell questioned.

"Well you see, Cyle Finton there." He started to point to the leaves floating in the glass. "Is having an affair on Lenny Medford, with her husband James Maxen, And the butler Samsom Millies found out they are piloting to kill Claudio..." Undertaker started to giggle at the thought. "Maybe I can make her a coffin when this is over."

Grell stood back up and looked over to William both very confused and very worried for their friend. Grell stumbled as Undertaker grabbed him and pulled him in to his lap wrapping his arms around him.

"You have pretty hair... Wanna trade? Its will be an easy operation:cut around the hair line, peel the skin off then put it on to the others head and stitch it back down." Undertaker ran his long nail over Grell's hair line making Grell freak out..

"WILLIAM HELP ME!" Grell reached out before William grabs his arm pull him away from Undertaker.

"What is wrong with you Undertaker?" William spat out demanding to know.

"I do not know... two days ago... I think... I was told it was two day after I passed out... any ways, Two days ago I passed out and I woke up this morning alive." Undertaker frown. "Such a shame to... HEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!"

"Grell go look in the back make sure nothing is missing." William looked back to Undertaker. "Tell me everything that happened till you passed out."

"OK Well first I was born in England before it was really really Far back.." Undertaker started.

"I meant what were you doing when you passed out?" William grabbed undertaker's shoulders tightly and shook him to get him to pay attention.

Undertaker went in to a fit of laughter and couldn't stop. William called his name a few time to snap him out before letting go as undertaker fell head first to his desk and continued to laugh uncontrollably. Grell soon came from the back holding two empty bottle of Formaldehyde.

"William I found these hanging on q hook and I found a bucket of blood but no body. Enough to have come from one person" Grell scratched his head not knowing what was going on as William nodded trying to put the pieces together in his head.

"It's mine.." Undertaker continued to laugh again.

"What is?" William's gazed turned back to Undertaker

"The Blood... Its mine" Undertaker's voice dropped deep as he got serious in his tone and expression as he sat up straight eyes narrowed. "Why do you have a problem with that?"

"Undertaker what did you do?" William's eye twitched slightly as Grell's eyes started to widen.

"I... "his seriousness dropped as he went in to anther giggle fit as his head dropped back to the desk top. "I replaced all my blood with Formaldehyde!"

"Why would you do that?" Grell busted out yelling.

"To know what the dead body feels when I do it to them!" his fit of laughter went on before it stopped as his voice became serious yet sad but he still laid on the desk. "It was painful at first but then it went away when I blacked out. Then I woke up and I felt so wonderful... No pain... No feeling at all... my entire body tingles with numbness." his voice rose at the end of his talking. "Wanna try it Grell? William?

"...Ah...nnn no..." Grell dropped the bottles quickly to the side and walked back to William

"Undertaker you may be a shinigami but you can still kill yourself!" William sighed shaking his head.

"I do not fear death Will-i-am! Undertaker giggled out before rolling so his head was resting on his chin so he could see them. "I embrace it with making every dead person I get pretty! BRING OUT THE DEAD I WORK FOR FREE!"

William sighed and shook his head before turning and leaving the shop with a very displeased look on his face. Grell followed close behind feeling a bit uncomfortable at the moment. When they door shut they heard a loud thud as Undertaker's insane laughing tore through out the neighborhood with no regret.

"William will he be Okay?"Grell questioned

"I do not know." William sighed heavily "We will have to wait and see."

Few years later

He is Okay but he is still giggling like a mad man and smiling with an eerie amount of happiness. As you walk in to his shop he can be found testing one of his own coffins or stitting at his desk enjoying a beaker of tea being lost in his own world. That is until he sees you, his next customer.

"Please tell me a joke. I like a good laugh." Undertaker throws his head back laughing once more


End file.
